another "non recipe" for the win!!

FAUX CANNELLONI/LASAGNE>>>>>>>1 box canneloni pasta (tubes)>>>>>>>1 bag mozzarella cheese sticks>>>>>>>1 jar Prego/Ragu/Rao pasta sauce>>>>>>>10oz spinach, thawed and drained(if you wish)>>>>>>>Pam/oil a 13x9 pan>>>>>>>put one peeled cheese stick into each pasta tube and lie in the pan to 3/4 full(leave some room for expansion)>>>>>>>scatter spinach over top and between tubes>>>>>>>pour tomato sauce over top>>>>>>>add ~3/4C water (rinse out jar), and cover with foil>>>>>>>place in fridge overnight to absorb liquid>>>>>>when almost ready to eat, put pan in oven, set to 350, bake for 30 minutes, uncover and top with some torn apart left-over cheese sticks>>>>>bake open to melty and yummy>>>>>>>tell _NOBODY_ how easy this was!!!>>>>>>>**** can "enhance" the sauce with oregano/basil/fennel seeds/sliced olives/chunks of pepperoni/etc

my Temple Recommend...and lack thereof

When i joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, i was counseled by the bishop that there are some bad people in the faith, just as there are come bad people in every group. The world is full of mostly good people but often the fewer bad people are what stand out and are remembered for their evil effects. I took this in and kept it in the back of my mind. I _knew_ that this would not be enough to dissuade me from joining and participating fully in the faith.>>>>>>>That was then, this is now.>>>>>>>I was also counseled by my "faith mentor" that "when you are getting closer to Jesus and being more dedicated to spreading His word, the adversary works all that much harder to dissuade and distract you". I have seen this in my life at some times. The first time that comes to mind is the day that i had my first experience, my ordination if you will, into the temple in Albuquerque. This is _BIG_ event in my faith....like First Communion and Dedication all at once. On the way to the temple for the ordination, the road/highway was closed (detours!), the traffic was horrible, the weather was crazy, and i was almost late for my appointed time. It all worked out, of course, but it was a bit more touch-and-go than i had hoped.>>>>>>>In my faith, the temple recommend is after an interview with the bishop and the president of the stake (division of the church) to be sure that one is "temple worthy". This recommend lasts for two years and then is renewed. A lot can change in two years and it is important to be worthy to enter the House of the Lord. Easy, peasy, lemon-squeezy right? If one is "living right", there should be no problem.>>>>> But no!>>>>>>> I went for my temple recommend interview this past week with both the bishop and the president. The interview/chat with the bishop was warm, inviting, and comfortable. He was pleased with my progress in the faith and interested in my life and me in general. This was how i always imagined church membership to be....fellowship with other kind, generous, honest people.>>>>>>>Two days later (because the president blew off our original meeting time with the bishop so that i could do it all at once), i met witht the president and answered the same ten questions. There was no chatting or interest, just professional, efficient questioning. After one question, he stopped, said that he had to "discuss something with the bishop" because he was "uncomfortable with my response". After speaking with the bishop (presumably....he could have just left the room for 10 minutes to go to the bathroom or out to his car to listen to the radio), he came back and said that he "didn't feel comfortable giving me the recommend" and that we could "revisit this in a few months" on a ZOOM meeting.>>>>>>>The issue? I don't participate in a sacrament meeting every week and take the sacrament (bread/water). I live in Costa Rica and there is no English speaking ward in the entire country. The ward that is nearest me is 40 minutes away (Joe drives, sits in the parking lot for the 1+ hour of service then drives me home), only in Spanish, and has no translation possibilities. I have attended this in the past but just sit there, let the Spanish wash over me, get more and more sad to the point of tears, do _not_ "feel the Spirit", then go home, feeling like the failure that i am that i cannot understand the gospel. So, instead of doing this, i have a Wednesday night Bible study (not Latter-day Saint but Bible is Bible!), i have online studies that i do weekly and daily scripture study. I am _more_ involved in "church" than i was in Albuquerque when i attended services weekly but then was "off" until the next Sunday, essentially.>>>>>>>By refusing to give me the recommend, President Michaels has prevented me from doing ordinations in the temple, prevented me from entering the House of the Lord, thwarted my progress to become more holy and involved in the faith.>>>>>>>How do i "repent and reform"? Either attend those sacrament meetings and ignore the mumbled Spanish (all lay lead so not practiced speakers), take the bread/water when offered, and report back to the President in a couple months or......do what i was tempted (see? adversary working on me...) to do and just LIE. Tell President Michaels that i AM attending sacrament meeting every week, AM taking sacrament, and then he will issue my recommend. So, for those of you following at home, to get my recommend to enter the most holy place in my faith, i have to lie to the President and Bishop of my faith.>>>>>>>Sigh.

last post so grim...we need something sweet to change the focus.....

HONEY MOLASSES QUICK BREAD/WASHINGTON POST>>>>>>> 2 cups whole-wheat flour....... 1/2 cup flour)....... 1 teaspoon baking powder....... 1 teaspoon baking soda....... 1/2 teaspoon salt....... 1/4 cup sunflower oil....... 1/4 cup honey....... 1/4 cup molasses....... 1 1/2 cups buttermilk or 1-1/2 C milk + 2 T vinegar....... Step 1....... Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Use cooking oil spray to grease the inside of a 9-by-5-inch loaf pan, then line the bottom with parchment paper........ Step 2....... Combine the flours, the baking powder, baking soda, salt, oil, honey, molasses and buttermilk in mixing bowl. Stir for 75 strokes, so all the dry ingredients are moistened, then pour into your loaf pan, spreading the batter evenly........ Step 3....... Bake (middle rack) for 40 to 50 minutes, or until the top is evenly browned and a tester inserted into the center comes out clean, or with a moist crumb or two........ Step 4....... Remove from the pan and place on a wire rack to cool for at least 10 minutes before serving with lots of butter and/or cream cheese!........

we all die.......

I am sure that this is not a new concept to any of us but it is not something that many of us think of often. Mostly, we think of this when we are forced to because of life circumstances, rarely of our own desire. Yes, eventually, you, i, all of us will be "orphans" as, God willing, we will outlive our parents. This has been on my mind a lot lately because of the events of the past month........ My father died 10+ years ago but the "daddy" of my youth, the man with whom i had a relationship, had "died" years before. We fell out of touch and he had no interest in keeping up the relationship, despite my efforts. For exaample, when he did come to Albuquerque, where i was living at the time, he stayed in a hotel three miles from my home, only saw me once when i invited myself to follow him and his wife to a pottery shopping errand in town, took my kids to his hotel to swim in the pool (i was specifically not invited), then returned them and hour later when they were "fighting" (splashing him and each other...they were kids!).When he got cancer, he called my sister with medical questions and updates and forbid me from visiting. I was only able to see him once before he passed, when he was on death's door and comatose so that he couldn't refuse me entry to his hospice room, two days before he passed. He had lingered with the cancer for a year but refused to allow me to have any more contact. I attended his funeral a week later but felt nothing. The man to be buried was not the dad of my youth...he was a literal stranger. I didn't know anyone at his funeral except my sister and my BFF Beth who still lived in Cincinnati and saw the notice for the funeral in the paper.>>>>>>> My mother (and, even more so, my sister) and i have always had a tenuous relationship. We have had many times that we had little spats with my being nearly always the one in the wrong. I am a disappointing, frustrating child and this didn't change as i became an adult. She has always been..well...who she is. She didn't like my college boyfriend, and told me this, so, when i married him, she still told me (often) how much she didn't like this man, the father of my children, the love-of-my-life for 30+ years. She continued until just last month telling me that he was a cause of all the issues and problems in my life and when was i "coming home" to live near her. After the last (at once both the most recent and the final)disagreement, i know when my mother will die. She has now died to me. She cut off all contact (blocked my calls, blocked me on social media, etc) and told me to not visit as she would not open the door. So, she (and my sister who did the same) is dead to me. Yes, i sometimes see something in the news that i would share with her, have interactions that i would share with her, see a recipe that she would like.....but that is in the past. It was coming eventually (she is 77 years old and losing her sight), as it will to all of us. I just know with her when our relationship, if not her corporal being, has died. So, at 57, i'm the end of my family.>>>>>>> What brought this all the more to the head? That my "second mom" is dying. I did go to Cincinnati (where my own mother lives but refused my company) from Costa Rica to say hello and goodbye to my BFF's mom, the second-mom of my youth, the sweetest woman i know, Helen. She is dying, in hospice and God allowed me and _so many_ of her family to be with her and say goodbye. She was awake and aware between medication naps and still ever-so-sweet and loving. God placed an angel in our lives and now wants her home. She is 88 years old...that's a lot of years of spreading her goodness and grace. She was the one that was home all the time when Beth and i were playing...the one who had TaB in her fridge _for me_....who made silver dollar pancakes and Tang for her girls to have a good start on the school day. She "lowered the BOOM" when needed but was ever-so-loving. Her Easter egg hunt for the entire neighborhood was LEGENDARY. Her family was so generous in sharing her with me and others. I mourn her suffering and am content that her family is able to rally around her in support and love. There is no "good way" to lose a parent or other loved one. That the family can be there with her and that she is in hospice and has her pain relieved is a blessing. It is still sad to lose her but ,depending on your faith beliefs, happy that she is "graduating" to be painfree, in her intact and healthy body and waiting for the rest of her family on the other side of the veil. This is the thought that allows me to stop crying over the situation.>>>>>>>On this visit to Ohio, we also went to Columbus to see Joe's mom/sister and family. We won't be back in Ohio until 2026 and recognize that this may be the last time that we see some people. That is true with everyone, really. Twenty year olds could be in a fatal car wreck. Thirty year olds get cancer. Forty years old is young...but can still be taken out with a heart attack or diabetic ketoacidosis. Each day is not guaranteed. Hug your favorite people...blame it on me and my blog posting...call your loved ones and tell them what they mean to you. At worst, you make their day. You never know when that last conversation will be.

i promised a recipe with each posting...here is today's....recipe first, blog afterwards!

>>>>>>>BIG BOATLOAD BEEF BAKE<<<<<<<....... A....... 1 lb lean ground beef ....... 1 yellow onion, diced ...... 1 red pepper, diced ....... B....... 1 (1 oz) package taco seasoning ....... ½ cup water or beef broth ....... 1 (14.5 oz) can tomatoes and green chiles, draineD,,,,,,, 1 (15 oz) can black beans, drained and rinsed....... ¾ cup sour cream...... 1 (9 oz) bag cool ranch Doritos....... 3 ½ cups shredded Mexican blend cheese....... sour cream and salsa for topping....... SAUTÉ A...... Add B and cook to creamy....... LAYER 1/3 crushed chips, 1/3 A/.B, 1/3 cheese....... Repeat x2....... Bake 350 to bubbly.......

OMG BASQUE CHEESECAKE!!!

Joe love, love, loved this and it's even better frozen/defrosted!!....... classic basque cheesecake....... Cooking spray or softened unsalted butter, for greasing the pan 6 large eggs, at room temperature....... 1 2/3 cups (333 grams) granulated sugar....... 2 pounds full-fat cream cheese (from four 8-ounce/227-gram blocks), softened (see Notes)....... .. 1 2/3 cups (383 grams) heavy cream, at room temperature....... 1/4 cup (31 grams) all-purpose flour, sifted....... 2 teaspoons vanilla extract....... 1/2 teaspoon fine salt...... Directions....... Time IconActive: 25 mins|Total: 1 hour 10 mins, plus cooling time....... Step 1....... Position a rack in the middle of the oven and preheat to 425 degrees. Grease a 9-inch springform pan with cooking spray or butter. Crumple two 16x12-inch pieces of parchment paper in your hands and line the pan with them, criss-crossing them so the entire bottom of the pan and the sides are covered, and you have a generous overhang on all four ends of parchment. Crease the paper at the edges, pinching it, so it folds over. Use your fingers to press the paper down as best you can so it snugly hugs the bottom and sides of the pan. Step 2....... In a large, 14-cup food processor, process the eggs and sugar until smooth, 20 to 30 seconds. Roughly divide each block of cream cheese into about 12 pieces per block, and scatter them evenly over the sugar and egg mixture in the bowl. Pulse about 20 times to break up the cream cheese. Pour in the cream and vanilla, and sprinkle in the flour and salt. Process until smooth and combined, about 45 seconds to 1 minute, stopping the processor and scraping the bowl with a flexible spatula at the halfway point. (You may notice a tiny bit of leakage when you lift the bowl off of the machine, but with a 14-cup processor, you shouldn’t have more than 1 tablespoon. If you have a smaller food processor, you can process the ingredients in two batches, adding the vanilla, salt and flour to one of them.) Alternatively, you can assemble the cheesecake in a stand mixer: do so on medium to medium-low speed, creaming the sugar and cream cheese first; then adding the eggs one at a time; and finishing with the cream, flour, vanilla and salt. Step 3....... Pour the batter into the prepared pan and bake for about 45 minutes, or until a thermometer inserted into the center of the cake registers about 155 degrees, and the edges are set but the middle is still quite jiggly. The top should be generously bronzed; if not, move the oven rack about 6 inches away from the broiler and broil, watching closely so the cake does not burn, for 1 to 2 minutes, until well-burnished. Transfer the pan to a wire rack and let cool until slightly warm or completely cooled, 1 to 2 hours. Step 4....... Remove the sides of the pan and set the cake, still on the papered bottom of the pan, on a serving plate. Slice, (use dental floss, even easier!)dipping the knife into hot water and drying it in between slices, and serve.