lisa's little language lamentations.....

I speak french and english. I tried spanish but, as my son would say, it was "an epic fail". That said, there are things about French that still make me tilt my head and wonder. French, like many languages (Spanish included), has genders for all nouns. This is important for using the correct adjectives. And, sometimes, the word means different things if used in the masculine or feminine. And example of this is "pelerin". Masculine (un pelerin) is a pilgrim (think Thanksgiving!). Feminine (une pelerine) is a cloak or cape (think Little Red Riding Hood). Un livre (masculine) is a book. Une livre (feminine) is a pound (##). If there is a group of people,even if there are 499 women and only 1 man, the group is called by masculine terms. If it is unknown if a group includes a masculine being (male dog in a pack, whatever), the group is masculine. When in doubt, the masculine is the default, unfortunately. Then there is the part that really makes me say, "hmmmmm???". A dress, a hairdo, a pretty ring on your finger-- all things that make a girl feel pretty. These words are all feminine (une robe, une coiffure, une bague). A gun, a pick-up truck, a speedo bathing suit-- all things that make a man feel manly. These words are all masculine (un fusil, un camion tout-terrain, un maillot de bain). But, breasts (decidedly a feminine wile...) are masculine (les seins). Chest, also feminine tool of attraction, feminine (la poitriine). A broom and a washing machine (feminine tools) are masculine (un balai et un lave-linge) but a hatchet (masculine tool) and a saw (une scie) are feminine. Oh, but it gets better. A masculine dog is un chien. Dog. A feminine dog is une chienne. Which translates to both the Westminster Dog show translation of female dog or the pejorative b**tch. A masculine feline is un chat. Cat. A feminine feline is une chatte. Which translates to both the mama cat literal translation and the pejorative fluffy female body part. (side note, this word in French, the epitome of female!!, is also a masculine word...le vagin...odd, hunh?) And, the most recent, is this one. My kids call their paternal grandmother (Lorraine Rossi) "nana". It is the name that she chose for herself for my kids to call her. This in French translates to "small/young girl". So, at 77 years old, my kids are calling her a little girl. Oh! But it goes both ways. The phrase for grandchildren is "petit-fils" and "petite fille". So, that same Nana is calling her 6'3" grandson "little son" and her 5'8" granddaughter "little daughter", both of whom tower over her. French makes little sense, sometimes. To say "darn" (and not curse), one says "chansons!" which translates to "songs!". Then again, i've heard people (un)cursing in English saying "cheese-and-rice", which makes little more sense, truly. And we will not even speak of the many, many words that sound the same in French but mean different things. My hubster says that there are truly only 17 words in French and they are just combined differently. Sometimes, to hear a native speaker babbling on about some arcane topic, i have to agree. My favorite, however, is how objects can change gender. Yes, many of the items in your home are "transgendered". Who knew? Your table and kitchen chairs? feminine (la table, la chaise) but that same chair, if cushioned, could be called an "easy chair"...and thus becomes masculine (un fauteuil). What goes well with said easy chair? A footrest. So, you go to th playground and rush to use the swings. But, are they masculine or feminine? Both? Neither? Un portique (masculine) or une balancoire (feminine). Ok, enough of this silliness, you think. So....a ball, the most basic of all tools or toys, right? But is it a boy or girl toy? une balle (feminine) or un ballon (masculin)? Oh! my head! (la tete or le crane?)!! So, go home. Take a break. Have some tea/coffee and toast. But will you have "boy" or "girl" toast? Un pain grille (masuline) or une tartine (feminine)? Aaaaack! You pray for this to end but, in doing so, look at your hands...oh yes, there's more. You realize that your hand is feminine (la main) but the components are ...well....both. Some masculine (un doigt...finger...le pouce....thumb) and some feminine (une ongle....fingernail)...and, unlike the rest of French, the combination is feminine (la main..feminine). Speaking of toast and prayers....this being a Lisa Blog Post, i owe you a recipe, i suppose. This is an easy one but a traditional Rossi Family Thanksgiving recipe. Try it...and see if you don't make it your favorite festive food. Oh, and cranberry is both sexes too! une canneberge (feminine) or un atoca(masculine). Enjoy!! TRADITIONAL THANKSGIVING CREATIVE CRANBERRY JIGGLY JELLO This is the recipe as it's written. My "adjustments" are in parentheses. Enjoy!! 1 package (6 ounces) cherry gelatin (2x small boxes or 1 large box, any "red" flavor is good) 1-1/2 cups boiling water (1-1/4C is better) 1 can (20 ounces) crushed pineapple, undrained 1 can (14 ounces) whole-berry cranberry sauce 1-1/2 cups seedless red grapes, halved (i never do this, always add chopped apple instead) 1/4 cup chopped pecans (i have never put nuts in jello... but you can..i don't love nuts) Directions In a large bowl, dissolve gelatin in water. Stir for three minutes until completely dissolved. Stir in pineapple and cranberry sauce. Refrigerate for 30 minutes. Stir in grapes and pecans. (i add all at once then stir again in ~30-45 minutes). Pour into a 2-qt. serving bowl. Refrigerate until firm.