I've always said that i wanted to be a mom who works as a nurse, not a nurse that has some kids at home. For the most part, my kids have always known that being a mom was my job #1 and that my shifts at the hospital were just something that i did (do!) while they're at school and i'd otherwise be home bored. That's all well and good.
One of the reasons that i work is "the gold star". Remember back in kindergarden? The gold star on your paper meant that you'd done a good job. That your work was worthy of a special sticker. Even a smiley face with a red pen was pretty darn good. As an adult, there are fewer and fewer "gold star moments", especially being home, so working at least gives me the opportunity to see that i've done something of merit. Something that justifies my existence.
Being Christian's mom is the anti-gold star.
Nothing that i do is right.
Nothing that i do "works".
He is an angry, petulant, unpleasant child.
I look forward to when he is not around.
I feel bad that i'm looking forward to his going to college/military/jail as this will mean that Alessandra has left. He, however, is so unpleasant that it's not just my life that he negatively impacts. It seems that, like smoke, he infiltrates everything surrounding with his poisonous attitude and behaviors. I almost wish that the police had just taken him away yesterday.
I'm sorry you're having a hard time with Enzo. Whenever Kylie's "boyfriend" Trey comes over I always tell Steve that I'm thankful we don't have boys. They are rough and loud and well, boys. I am used to having girls.
ReplyDeleteMaybe military school might be a good thing for not only him, but all of you? It sounds like he needs more discipline. Sorry you're going through this...I wish we lived closer so I could give you a hug.
XXOO,
Erp