go to your room

When i was young and misbehaved, my mother would do the "wait until your father gets home" thing. Upon hearin of my offense, my dad would always say..."go to your room". Then, he would finish whatever he was doing (eating dinner, watching a TV show, changing clothes, who knows?), and come up to fuss at me. Tell me how disappointed he was with whatever i had done. How he thought that i was better than this. How i was less than he had thought that i was. Often, this was bad enough. Just thinking about it now is making me stomach tense and flip. Anyway, then he would inflict whatever punishment seeme appropriate to him.>>>>>>I am a lot older now but still hate the "we need to talk about this" delay that sometimes comes up in relationships. I have that going on now and have been sick with worry for days...>>>>>>>I had a friend that i saw every week. We had her and her husband over for lunch/games or we went to the their house. We went on walks, just the two of us. But, mostly, we sat on her porch and chatted. It was a good friendship. But, every so often, she would just disappear. We wouldn't hear from her for weeks on end then she would be back with a glib excuse of "i got bogged down with financial stuff" or "we have family coming to visit so i needed a couple weeks to get ready...then their visit....then a month to recover..."(happened three times, even when we entertained the family at our home or hosted them at a restaurant). And, she has friends that don't like me (different story for a different day). So...her ghosting me lately is not an extraordinary event. But it has been over six months.>>>>>>>So, having seen an article in the Washington Post about a friend repeatedly ghosting the writer, i sent it to her and asked what was going on with her.>>>>>>>She responded "we need to talk...and this will be more than a 20 minute conversation...when can you do this?" When i offered that day or the next, i was told.."no, too soon...i might be able to do three days from now...but only in the morning...or any day the rest of that week".>>>>>>>So, essentially... "go to your room...i'll talk to you later"...So,.....i wait....and fret....I honestly don't know what i could have done or said, what i could have not done or said, that would have meritted losing this relationship. I have given up on it being restored...i just want to know what happened so that i don't similarly offend others going forward.>>>>>>> So, Monday afternoon will bring, maybe, some clarity.>>>>>>Maybe.>>>>>>>But at least i won't be as fraught with nerves and nauseated.....maybe. Joe thinks that i'm overreacting (and i am) but i can not just let it go. I want this to be over, one way or the other. I have never outgrown the want/need for "everyone to like me" and that there is someone (not just her but her friends as well) that doesn't like me makes my dread even worse.>>>>>>>Sigh.